Lately my life has seemed to be a series of sacrifices. I’m working hard and focused on my goals but I am seeing some sidesteps here and there for sure. It was really nice when I worked a 9-5 job and saw that regular monthly paycheque deposited into my account. It all felt so safe. And I’m not even used to safe. I was a serial student prior to that job, so I know what it’s like to live life in moderation.
Since leaving my safe haven of a well-paying job in February I have seen the highs and the lows of freelance life. The first few months were amazing. I was busy and working a ton, making more money than I normally would have. As summer hit, I realized that I need to learn how to budget, save, and do finances for operating a small business. I haven’t made a real effort at any of these things lately. I’m going to take a Finances 101 class at Toronto Trade School. I ‘m hopeful that will get me on the right track.
It’s much more challenging to learn to budget on a freelancer’s schedule. Cheques can come three months late, and you can never prepare for the unexpected. It’s a whole new level of restraint. I now have to really think about it before I head to Shopper’s Drug Mart and unconsciously spend $150 (I used to do that on the reg). Forget about my random shoe shopping sprees. It’s all calculated and controlled now.
Instead of embracing a ‘poor me’ mind warp, I have chosen to remind myself that it’s the sacrifices now that will pay off in the long run. Of course I want manicures, Marciano, and Mistura all the time but that’s not going to get me to where I want to be. I have chosen this life, and I can *always* go back and find a full-time job. That’s the easy part. It’s a learning curve being freelance and balancing writing, communications work, and acting but this is one path I am happy to be on.
While it can be painful to forgo wandering into Aritzia and picking up new clothes, I do get the utter joy of shaping each and every single day how I want to and get to focus on what is most important for me to. I can choose to work out in the afternoon, to go to acting class, or research for hours. I own my life. And that is worth all the sacrifices that I have made.