8.2.10

What I wish I was

Super Charlie
Photo by Keesic. Comic effect by Nadya Kwandibens.
 
"I wish I was one of those people that woke up out of bed like a 5 year old on speed." ~Charlie via Twitter (January 28, 2009)

And it's true. Lately I just can't seem to get my groove back. I keep feeling like I am working at a snail's pace and I just can't seem to catch up. Last week I was feeling the effects of allergies slowing my whole body down. This week it may just be a case of the Mondaze, but I fear it might not be.
All my life I have been this way. I can work myself to the bone, work late every night totally dedicated to whatever the task is at hand. And then ... and then my body says "No! Enough is enough Lisa" and it prevents me from continuing at that pace. It reminds me that I am not the superwoman that I want to be. 

It is so common to have this 'Superwoman' mentality among women, especially those who manage both a career and a family. Wow, and I thought my work/school/friends/boyfriend balance was a lot to manage. I can only imagine how stressed out I might be when I reach that stage of my life.

Or will I? I have a dear artist friend, Tracey-Lynne who used to remind me that I have the temperament of an artist, and that I need to embrace it and not try to work against it. I keep the most irregular schedule and I am always trying to regulate it, like a "normal" person. Tracey used to tell me that when I am feeling inspired and want to stay up all night painting or working on a great project that I should just do it, and rest when it is done and my body says it is time to rest. 
 
That is the reminder I got from @JasBanwait today which was exactly of the same ilk that Tracey used to tell me. So no I will not resort to the great coffee buzz every morning and I will work at the pace my body will allow me too. I suppose it is just natural to slow down a little in the winter (this is why I want to head south for some sun every winter). 

So please forgive me while I work through this little slump. I can't post as much as I want to, I won't be going out like I really want to, and I might just be catching up on all those TV episodes I missed over the last year. But you know what? I might just be happy, and try to rid myself of the superwoman complex, if only just until spring ;).

Posted by Lisa ~ Urban Native Girl at 2:36 PM
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7 comments:

  1. DJ TR-ONE/Fly Joint ProductionsFeb 8, 2010 01:33 PM
    Chyahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... You are SuperNDNChick!
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  2. TELL me about it! Natives are creative scientists living in a "neatly labeled, alphabetically organized, and vacuum-sealed for storage" society; we're misfits made to fit. Ugh, and its NEVER enough.

    Okay -- I'm venting -- I'm studying for the Bar.

    I love this blog!
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  3. I've actually been diagnosed with the "Superwoman" complex from my therapist. I want to do 10 different things at once yet it's never enough. So I have to keep reminding myself to just step back and see all my accomplishments and just breath.
    ReplyDelete
  4. Hello!
    I just found your blog and am really enjoying reading it.:)

    -chrispito

    PS. I wish I was more energetic, full stop.
    ReplyDelete
  5. I listened to this Native woman talk once about how she worked herself so hard that she had a stroke at 35. 35!!

    As a youngster I had a lot of mentors telling me about balance this, and balance that. It's that time in life now where I am finally understanding how important that balance is. You seem like you take care of yourself very well, so I don't worry too much. But relaxing is what will help you get the balance back.

    Your too pretty to wrinkle or gray early!!

    LOL
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  6. AMEN ! I so completely agree with all of what you said ... I live the same way. It regularly happens that I 'finally' get focused and excited at about 11pm and get real good film work done, or paint, or fashion sketches... And I feel guilty and I think 'if I don't go to bed now, I'll wake up late, and that doesn't fit in with what we think of a 'healthy schedule'. But hell. If it makes you happy ... That is truly what matters. And for sure a lot of us women have the overachiever complex mixed into it ... But I do believe there is no greater power to be had than listening to both our body and our creative instincts ... Our ancestors for sure did more hibernation than we do with our heated sidewalks and all night amenities. Perhaps we do need to remember winters are there for a reason - to 'digest' the year, rest and build a renewed strength for the year to come .. We feel so out of that beat, we really, the sun still shines the same way, the moon still controls the tides, and so we should still observe the rhythm of the seasons and what that means for both our bodies and souls. I don't know ... thinking out loud really :) In Buddhism we call it 'following the Middle Way'. Equilibrium. Thanks for your insight, it is stirring a lot of internal dialogue as you can see lol. Calvin Klein said it best: 'Just Be'. <3
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  7. Naomi - It's so true about living inside the box and not quite fitting in ... reminds me of many discussions with NDN artists. So glad you are loving the blog.

    RWW - LOL at "diagnosed".

    chrispito - thanks for checking in :).

    Charlotte - yes a balance is key, now just how do we do make the time for it all? I guess we just DO. hmmm I will try ....

    Marie-Michelle - I love that you share the same creative late-night inspirations as I do! Ahhh as I am doing right now. I will sleep in until noon tomorrow but it's okay b/c I will get more done tomorrow in my own time. Also lots more to learn on winters and what they are meant for and the tradition but yes resting and reflecting is what I can remember from the top of my head. That sounds about perfect for me right now :).
    ReplyDelete

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