Nomad's Land

"Is it one and a half hours or two this time of day?" I ask my then boyfriend. He shrugs and says "Let's just go." I throw on my jacket and off we pile into my car to make the familiar ride. The ride is to Buffalo Airport (BUF), a mere hop skip and a jump away from our place in Toronto where the flights within US are ridiculously cheap. He is off to . . . where is he off to? Virginia or Florida? Who can keep track, point is he was off, again, and far away from me.

How does one deal in a relationship with a nomad, a nomadic gypsy, a wanderlust, a vagabond? I even remember my then boyfriend telling me that there was a gene that was found in people that made them naturally pre-dispositioned to wanderlust, and he had it. I laughed and said he inherited it from his father, who was a world champion athlete, and liked to roam.

So I struggled with his inclinations toward roaming for the entire two years we were together. I never understood why he "had" to go to Montreal, Halifax, Virginia, Florida, etc., etc. Yeah sure he had film work and needed to go sometimes, but leaving for 3 months for 3 weeks work? Ahh, the film business, it allows for strange concessions sometimes.

And those concessions are where I find myself now. I am now following in his footsteps, breaking out into the film business. Which has recently led me to want to move to Los Angeles. However in my quest for this move, it is also going to lead me to Montreal for the month of December, back to Toronto to film in January, and then well who knows? Maybe back to LA or staying in Toronto until April. I am now the wanderlust, the vagabond, the nomadic Indian gypsy (as I like to refer to myself as).

So what does this newfound quest and lust for travel bring to my dating life? Strife and complications, just as it did when I was on the other side waiting for someone to return home. I never intended to adopt this lifestyle so quickly. I knew that I would need to travel, desire to travel, want to have more than one "hometown" but didn't expect it to happen so fast.

As I live life in the fast lane, what does that mean for the person I am dating who waits patiently for me to return? How long can he wait, how do I fulfil his desire for my company while I am wandering to and fro? I know that when I was waiting I was never satisfied, and was always restless . . . waiting, wondering. So just how do these relationships go?

It's not quite a long-distance relationship, not quite a regular relationship. No it is a relationship with a nomad. I have friends who are on the receiving end of this relationship who wait for their boyfriend's to return from their homes in South America, or from their surfing trips in Hawaii. They wait patiently, happily busying themselves with imagining their soon-to-be jet-set lifestyle and how they will dress their live-in-nanny. But what does the guy do? Imagine their girlfriend one day making lunch for the children before she heads out for a few months? Much more difficult to fathom.

It is tough terrain to tread, mostly because it is new. New for me, being on this side of the equation. Maybe I should ask my then boyfriend for tips. But wait, it never really worked. So where do those buffalo roam?


'Wanderlust' by Bjork.

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