LAX Dia 14 - Should I stay or should I go?

"Be reckless enough to gamble all or nothing to follow your dreams."
~John Galliano

I stroll down Santa Monica beach with my bare feet in the sand, the sound of the waves crashing in calming my anxious soul, while the neon lights staring back to me from the ferris wheel on the pier excite me and remind me that anything is possible.

And that is the precise feeling that I have had since I have come to la la land. It has felt right for me to be here, and every day I have at least a few moments where I think to myself "Yes I can." Every day has felt magical and full of light, inspiration, and a following of intuition, and initiation.

My initial reaction to being in Los Angeles, is that I never wanted to leave. It was early November and I was wearing a denim miniskirt, tank top, and flip flops. I mean, come on, who doesn't love that? Every wind that flowed in my direction felt blissful and beautiful. I was gearing myself out for the long haul of living and thriving in L.A. while figuring out how to wrap up my life in Toronto.

Toronto felt like a distant little darling in the back of my mind. It felt like it was so last decade. I think I have put in my time in Toronto and need to move on and get my groove on. It is however very comfortable, I am able to live in a new condo, drive my car everywhere I go, I have tons of amazing friends. I live a cush life in T-dot.

Here in Los Angeles, I see a life filled with hustle and struggle. Which I am not adverse to, I am just not sure how much hustle this princess can really take. The idea of struggling to eat and survive and not be able to shop and eat out to my heart's content, is well, a little heartbreaking.

So yesterday I was breaking my own little heart with the reality that moving to LA during the potential SAG strike, during a slow time in the season, and during a recession when all the good bartending jobs are filled with out-of-work actors may not be the wisest decision.

The decision is that I need to be smart about this pursuit and plan it out better so that I come with all my business wrapped up back in Canada, a bank full of savings to carry me through, and a head filled with knowledge of living and thriving in L.A.

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